


Color Me Blue

by carefully_crafted_cliches



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009!phan, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 17:17:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5674195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carefully_crafted_cliches/pseuds/carefully_crafted_cliches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone sees the world in black and white until they touch their soulmate for the first time.</p><p>A soulmate au with a bit of 2009!phan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Color Me Blue

**Author's Note:**

> Basically my favorite song on Blue Neighbourhood is BLUE and this is what I think of every time I listen to it.
> 
> You can also read this story [on my tumblr](http://sexuallyambiguousphan.tumblr.com/post/134665892860/color-me-blue). If you like it, I'd appreciate it if you reblogged it :).

_“I know you see in black and white_  
_So I’ll paint you a clear blue sky_  
 _Without you I am colorblind_  
 _It’s raining every time I open my eyes”_

~*~*~

Dan was five when he first learned about color.

He had always been content living in his world of black and white, until his primary school teacher explained  _color_ , and told them that the sky was blue and the grass was green and flowers were pink and yellow and red and purple and every possible color. Dan couldn’t comprehend a world so vivid and alive. How can one understand color when they’ve never seen it, after all? But he was fascinated by the idea, dying to see these vibrant hues.

“Why can’t we see colors?” he asked.

“Most people your age can’t,” his teacher said with a soft smile. “One day, though, when you’re older, you’ll be able to see all the colors of the rainbow.”

“But  _when_?” he demanded, with all the frustrated impatience of a child waiting for dessert.

“When you meet your soulmate, the one person in this world who is made for you,” his teacher explained, “then every color will burst to life around you like magic.”

From that day on, Dan was obsessed with colors. He wanted to know what color his hair was, and his eyes, and his pet dog, and the wine his parents drank with dinner, and his nan’s fancy earrings. Of course, he never truly knew what the colors meant, what “brown” hair looked like, or “dark red” wine or “sapphire blue” earrings. But his family answered his questions patiently and indulgently, remembering a time before they’d met, when their world was all shades of grey.

Dan was thirteen when the first of his friends met his soulmate.

They were in the schoolyard, kicking a football around (well, Dan was mostly just watching), when Dan’s mate Michael had accidentally kicked the ball into a nearby girl’s stomach. She stomped over to the boy as he stuttered out apologies and slapped him across the face. And then they both gasped. Michael actually fell down. With gaping mouths, they gazed around their suddenly changed world. 

For months, Michael didn’t shut up about how amazing colors were. At first Dan had listened avidly to Michael’s descriptions, trying desperately to picture the world as his friend saw it. He couldn’t, of course, and eventually he got sick of his friend’s rambling. 

“And her eyes are so green,” Michael said, “they look like lightest part of the forest, you know, where-”

“No, I  _don’t_  know, Michael,” Dan snapped. “I can’t see colors and you bloody well know that, so can you please just _shut up_ about them for one second?”

Michael’s only response was a smug, “Your cheeks turn red when you’re angry, did you know?”

Dan was undeniably jealous. Meeting a soulmate so young was rare, almost no one could see colors at thirteen, but why, out of everyone, did it have to be Michael, who hadn’t cared at all about color before he could see it, instead of Dan, who’d longed for it for years?

They ended up drifting apart - Dan’s black and white view didn’t belong in Michael’s vibrant world. 

Dan was fifteen when he started watching a boy with black hair and light eyes on YouTube. 

Phil - AmazingPhil to his subscribers - was four years older than Dan and hadn’t met his soulmate, but he didn’t seem to care like Dan did. He was happy, and strange, and sexual, and looked at the world with the type of wonder usually reserved for those seeing color for the first time. To Phil, the world was beautiful in black and white. Dan didn’t understand this view, but he adored Phil anyway. 

Sometimes, when he was watching Phil’s videos, he forgot to be upset that he could only see the gorgeous boy in shades of grey.

Dan was eighteen when Phil finally noticed him.

Dan had never been great at making friends, always managing to say something upsetting or awkward at the wrong time, but he immediately felt at ease with Phil. They spent hours talking over Skype, finding out everything they had in common (and that was quite a lot). It was like they were made for each other.

Of course, Dan fantasized about Phil being his soulmate - about meeting Phil in person for the first time, and hugging him, and seeing the world come to life around them. And especially, seeing Phil’s eyes.

“What color are your eyes?” Dan asked during one of their Skype calls. Phil’s eyes looked light grey to him - so light that on anyone else Dan would have said they were off-putting, but on Phil they were just breathtaking.

“My mum says they’re blue like the sky on a clear day,” Phil replied with a shrug. “Not that I really know what that means.”

“I think they’d be beautiful in color,” Dan blurted, then blushed a shade of darker grey.

“You mean you don’t think they’re beautiful now?” Phil teased with a smirk that sent Dan’s heart racing.

“Of course they are!” he rushed to explain. “I just mean - in color - they’ll be more - you know - and-”

Phil just shrugged, mercifully cutting off Dan’s stuttering. “I’m fine with how they look now.”

“Y-you are?”

“Yeah, I mean, I’m used to it. And my eyes work just fine in black and white. For example, I don’t need to see colors to know that you’re fit.”

Pushing past his the butterflies fluttering around his stomach, Dan asked, “But aren’t you curious? Don’t you feel like you’re missing out?”

“Of course I’m curious, but there’s no sense in pining for color - either I’ll see it someday or I won’t. And no, I don’t feel like I’m missing out. The world doesn’t need color to be beautiful, Dan.”

Dan hadn’t believed that since before he knew what color was.

Dan was eighteen when he finally met Phil in person.

He felt anxious and excited and sick to his stomach the entire train ride to Manchester. This could be it - the day he’d finally see the world as it was meant to be seen. He and Phil fit so well, they  _had_  to be soulmates. Dan couldn’t imagine any other person bringing color into his life.

Full of nervous energy, he stepped off the train and bounced on his toes, searching for his boyfriend. When he spotted Phil’s tall frame towering over the crowd, he ran, uncaring of the people he was rudely bumping into in his haste to get to his boyfriend.

“Phil!” he cried, and Phil gave him a huge, bright smile as Dan threw himself into the taller boy’s arms and finally, finally got to kiss him like he’d been dreaming of for months. Phil’s lips were soft and warm, and fit against Dan’s perfectly as he smiled into the kiss.

Dan pulled back after several perfect seconds to stare into the eyes of his soulmate, the man made for him, excited to finally see their clear blue...

Grey.

All he saw was grey.

The world, the people in the train station, Phil’s smile, Phil’s eyes. They were all still grey.

Phil watched as Dan’s face absolutely crumbled. “You’re not my soulmate,” he nearly whispered.

A large hand with long, thin fingers cupped his cheek, and he stared into the understanding grey eyes of the man he loved, the man who wasn’t his soulmate. “I’m sorry, Dan,” Phil said softly. “But I love you anyway. I’d rather see in black and white forever than be with someone else.”

And Dan knew it was true. And that no matter how much he’d dreamed of meeting his soulmate, of seeing the world come to life around him, he wouldn’t leave Phil. The idea of anyone else as his soulmate felt so  _wrong_. Whoever was up there, matching up souls, had really fucked up this time. Because he’d never fit with someone the way he fit with Phil, and he couldn’t just leave that behind.

“I love you too,” he said, and though his voice cracked and he was still devastated, he was certain of that one fact.

Dan was twenty-two when he finally accepted that he would never see colors.

His and Phil’s relationship hadn’t always been easy. Dan had spent his lifetime longing for color, and that didn’t change overnight. They were surrounded by people who thought love wasn’t true unless it was between soulmates. The odds were against them and sometimes Dan, himself, was against them. But Phil was truer than any predestined match, and stayed with Dan through all of his crises, was kind to Dan even when he probably didn’t deserve it. 

It had taken years, but he was finally confident in their relationship and at peace with his grey world. Phil brought the light and happiness to his life that he’d always assumed could only exist once he could see in color. Phil made the coolest greys feel warm, the darkest blacks feel welcoming. Phil helped him learn to see the beauty that existed in their world even without color. 

Dan wasn’t sure if he’d ever completely get past his desire to see colors, but now, it was only because he wanted to see what’s Phil’s eyes looked like in blue.

Dan was twenty-six when, in front of their closest friends and family, he and Phil promised to love each other forever.

His dad had pursed his lips through the entire service, upset that Dan was marrying someone who wasn’t his soulmate. And Dan felt bad for him, to be honest. It was sad that some people placed so much importance on color. Dan, for his part, had absolutely no regrets. He wanted to grow old and wrinkly and even more grey with Phil, and absolutely no one else, even if it meant never seeing the color of his husband’s eyes.

Because Dan loved the idea of color, but he loved Phil so much more.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve always wanted to do a soulmate AU where they aren’t actually soulmates. I’ve been planning a multichapter soulmate verse (the names on the wrists kind) exploring Dan and Phil’s relationship as not-soulmates, and how that’s viewed in their society and all that. I still might do that, but I wanted to write this anyway. I hope you liked it :)


End file.
